Forget the Future and the Past: Learn to Live in the Present

All too often, we tend to overemphasize the unimportant—meaning: Why can’t we just let things go? What is so important about today, tomorrow, work, children, etc, that hinders us from living in the present? Why do Type A personalities tend to live in the future while Type B personalities tend to live in the past? Who, then, really lives in the present? I have a few thoughts on this topic because I lean towards the former. Some advice on how to live in the present:

“What Ever You Are, Be a Good One” – Abraham Lincoln: It is no surprise to me that Lincoln ranks atop most polls as the greatest President of all time. He was a man of conviction and high morals. However, don’t think for a second that he wasn’t constantly tested during his days in office. Nonetheless, he brings up a great point here: Regardless of who you are and what you are doing, you have a choice every day to be the best person you can be. There is an element of contentment that comes along with this statement. Part of living in the present means you may (at least mentally) forego the potential gains of the future or inevitable losses of the past. What has happened before is over—forget it and move on. Why are you letting things in your past prevent you from being the person you want to be today? The same is true of the future: Why are you so focused on the future that you fail to be the person you want to be today? Again, the funny part about this statement is that we typically hope for some crazy transformation in the future, but the reality is that our tomorrow looks surprisingly like our today. Because of this, you need to learn how to find contentment in your life and be the best you can be regardless of what you do—Whatever You Are, Be a Good One.

Success: Although each of us has a different definition of success, I argue that everyone wants to succeed—nobody like to lose—we just have different ways of defining success. In order to better understand how to juggle your busy work schedules along with your family life, I think you must first ask yourself how you define success. Do you work long hours because you are afraid of failure? Or do you work long hours because you need success? These two are vastly different. Are you a better husband or wife depending on the various successes/failures in your life? I think type A people tend to need tangible successes, while type B people tend to prefer implied successes. If you are a high achiever type A’er, try and set short term, mid-term, and long term goals. Within these goals, you must have them for different areas of your life: Spiritually, family life, work, friends, community, etc. You tend to live in the future, so setting goals will help you “feel” the necessary tangible gains. The problem here is when type A’ers reach beyond the attained goal. You must stop, and re-evaluate. You have achieved your goal. Don’t compromise one of your other goals in a different area because you are constantly reaching for more. This will help you define why you are doing the things you are currently doing. Humans have a certain balance among mind, body, and spirit that must be constantly adjusted so we don’t get out of our natural pattern.

Ask Yourself: Why? This is one of the toughest questions to answer and one that I am still working on defining. Why? Why do you do the things you do? Why do you live where you live? Why do you work where you work? Why is work bogging down your life? I have attempted to define this one in my own life and have come to the realization that there is something deep down inside of me that just won’t quit. Also, I am a nerd for new and useful information. I enjoy working with great people and love seeing others succeed just as much as I like it myself. It has nothing to do with awards, slaps in the face, or accepting average. It has everything to do with how I define success and why I do the things I do. I have come to realize that failure and adversity help to breed success and optimism—especially for high achievers. Because of this, something inside me won’t quit. Failure is not an option and success is demanded. Success is no longer a choice, it becomes a way of life.

To recap: How do we focus on living in the present? Be the best you can be every day. Find out what makes you tick and how you define success. Set reasonable goals and constantly re-evaluate them. Ask yourself: Why? If you focus on these areas, you will find a better balance in your life and probably be a better husband/wife/co-worker, etc. More to come on this topic…

Things I'm Thinking About: 2.17.09

Some things I have been thinking about:

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It seems as if the “historical” truths of the stock market have become obsolete. What if we have entered a period where history won’t repeat itself? Would we even know it if we are throwing our money away? Is it possible that the market won’t recover? Will traditional “buy and hold forever” strategies fail to deliver the way they have in the past?

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There is way too much garbage on the internet. Moreover, it is becoming increasingly difficult to find the information you actually want/need. My latest business start-up seeks to address this issue and provide meaningful customized content delivered directly to users.

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Hines Ward played in the Super Bowl with an injury that would have left most people on the sidelines indefinitely. How did he do it? It seems the answer lies in an advanced platelet delivery system where a physician injects healthy cells into an injured area in order to speed recovery. I am considering this in lieu of shoulder surgery. What are the risks? How much does it cost?

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Some fantastic websites you may not know about:

AllMyFaves--Delivers hyperlinks to the most popular content on the Internet

StumbleUpon--Helps bloggers and other junkies looking to increase traffic and find cool websites

Hulu--Internet television. A fantastic site to find any channel or show you can think of.

AirFareWatchdog--Set a departure city and receive updates with the lowest airfares.

Diddit--Check off cool things you have done and find out what others have conquered.

Are You A Leader or A Manager?

1. If you constantly focus on organizational and process driven improvements you are probably a manager.

2. If you would rather focus on improving people who will improve the processes to make your organization better, you are probably a leader.

3. If you succumb easily to higher authority rather than providing thoughtful and intelligent counter arguments you are probably a manager.

4. If you respectfully challenge the status quo and seek to improve not only business productivity but also the wants and needs of people you are probably a leader.

5. If you are a different person depending on the people you are with, you are probably a manager.

6. If people try to emulate your personality, and act differently than they normally would around you, then you are probably a leader.

7. If you would rather make a decision that may make you look good at the cost of potentially hurting someone else in your organization, you are probably a manager.

8. If you would rather take risks and accept personal responsibility if things go badly rather than see a colleague take the fall, you are probably a leader.

9. If you are stuck in the “way we’ve always done it” mentality, you are probably a manager.

10. If you seek continuous organizational improvement and disregard the potential risk of your own career if things fail, you are probably a leader.

11. If you find yourself asking others how they would act in certain situations more often than charging with your own ideas, you are probably a manager.

12. If you find people come to you for advice, ideas, and personal help, and seek these things hoping for an “unbiased” opinion regarding things outside of the workplace, you are probably a
leader.

13. If you would rather tell your boss that someone below you must have screwed up, you are probably a manager.

14. If you would rather tell your boss that you have personally failed and plan to “rethink” the way you have done things in order to help those below you, then you are probably a leader.

15. If you seek sustainment and reactionary type activities rather than development and proactive type activities, you are probably a manager.

16. If you view work as much more than just a “job,” you are probably a leader.

17. If you let undue emotion and stress encapsulate and interfere with your job, you are probably a manager.

18. If you shake things off fairly easily and manage stress and uncertainty behind closed doors, you are probably a leader.

19. If you think you know how to lead people and believe you have a “system” to do so, you are probably a manager.

20. If you continue to develop the way you manage and to develop the way you lead and you realize that different things make different people tick, you are probably a leader.

21. If you view change as a hindrance to getting work done, you are probably a manager.

22. If you view change as a natural organizational process and embrace uncertainty, you are probably a leader.

23. If you punch the clock everyday and constantly check your watch, you are probably a manager.

24. If you would rather send your people home for the night and have to personally stay and finish leftover work, you are probably a leader.

25. If you are very worried about your job, you are probably a manager.

26. If you view your current job as the exact job you are supposed to be doing and seek to learn from your mistakes, you are probably a leader.

I’m sure there are many others that should be added to this list. Let me know if you have other ideas for this list!